Top 10 Fictional Custodians (or janitors, if you want to be a dick about it)

I just started a new job, and in a completely unrelated stream of thought, I got to thinking who were the best fictional janitors of all-time? Fortunately, I thought of 10, and now can present them in Internet List form.

10. Thurgood Jenkins, Half Baked


Thurgood parlays a job as a janitor (custodian, dick) at a research lab into a weed supply that makes him New York City's premier dealer. The only downside is now he has to deal with Samson.

9. Stanley Spadowski, UHF


Stanley turns what could have been a bad situation (getting fired from the network affiliate) into a dream job (hosting his own talk show, while still getting to be the janitor!)



8. Carl Reed, The Breakfast Club


I couldn't find any video of Carl, so I'll let Wikipedia explain why he's awesome.
"A school janitor who tells the kids he is the eyes and ears of the school. He hears all of their conversations. A brief shot at the beginning of the movie reveals he was once voted "Man of the Year" when he attended the high school years before. Although Bender mocks Carl a bit (as he does with everybody), they end the day on a friendly note, Bender mentioning that he'll see him next week. Carl seems, however, to be on friendly terms with Bender from the beginning. He seems to know the students at the school very well, and when Vernon tells him, "Someday, these kids are gonna take care of me," He replies, 'Don't count on it.'"
Also, he blackmails the principal for 50 dollars, which is pretty cool.

7. Dr. John Kimble, The Fugitive


After escaping prison to prove he didn't kill his wife, the good doctor has the balls to not only return to Chicago, but to pose as a (Hispanic!) janitor in a hospital. When not cleaning blinds, Kimble saves a boy's life (after Juliane Moore catches him writing on the boy's chart) and solves his wife's murder.

6. Elaine Benes, Seinfeld


Now we all know Elaine wasn't actually a janitor, but in the episode "The Pothole" she pretends she lives in a janitor's closet to get Chinese food delivery. When a tenant notices her exiting the closet, she scolds Elaine for not fulfilling her janitorial duties. Apparently deciding the Chinese food is worth it, Elaine takes care of business, making her one of the few janitors on this list that actually did custodial duties.

5. Rolo The Janitor, Billy Madison


In addition to his awesome sideburns, Rolo also has good taste in beverages.

4. Happy Gilmore, Happy Gilmore
Happy's only claim to fame as a janitor was putting his mop between his legs so it looked like a penis. Well done, Happy, well done.

3. Brian (Jack Teller), The Score


Edward Norton retards it up (but not full retard) as a janitor in a customs house he and Robert DeNiro are trying to rob for Marlon Brando (I think). Okay, bye bye!

2. Will Hunting, Good Will Hunting


Will is a genius who works as a janitor and refuses all opportunites because his dad did shit to him. But it's not his fault, and he's also got some apples you may like.

1. Janitor, Die Hard With A Vengeance
When Simon Gruber puts a bomb in Chester A. Arthur Elementary, the entire NYPD hot tails it there to defuse the bomb and evacuate the kids. After everyone's evacuated (but the bomb still isn't defused), Samuel L. Jackson's stupid nephews are still in the building, locked in a classroom. Two cops go running in after them, but not before the janitor tosses them the keys to the room. He would have been a hero, except: the cops didn't know what key opened the door, so they just kicked it down; they then forgot which way they came in so they ran to the roof and got stuck up there; and the bomb was never real, so no got hurt. A little anticlimatic, sure, but looking at what site this list is on, did you expect anyone else to be number 1?